


Monster

by baosjk89



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 06:31:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8276119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baosjk89/pseuds/baosjk89
Summary: Whatif that Gon who was lost amid revenge wasn't something temporary, and if it still exists somewhere within Gon.The same fury, the same objectivity without concern for the consequences for him and for those who love him.If it was enough to make Killua collapse in tears, what a second time would do?How far would Gon go when interpreting a children's promises as a swear of eternal partnership?





	1. Monster?

From the first time that Netero watched the boy, he knew about his huge potential. After seeing him playing and fighting he knew the boy had everything to become a monster - someone as powerful as him, if not more.

Morel also saw the same.

When he asked for a commitment, for a test of strength, to know if the boy had what it takes to survive, he was surprised by a force and coldness that froze him – he was facing death, and not by an enemy’s hand but at the hand of a child no older than fourteen.

The boy was a born to be hunter, a beast of nature, he was still not a monster, but had to be guided properly or would turn into one.

Wing knew what will come.

The talent of the two boys was something unique and extremely rare.

The two were meant to be together, a team that if trained properly would be unbeatable.

But there was something even worse, one of the boys despite living in the underworld was very soft for that world, and the other, although radiating a light and innocence, possessed a dangerous dark side.

He was excited and fearful at the same time, he had unleashed a monster in the world.

Bisket could not let such talent go to waste, even if it was for the worse, she would polish those rare jewels.

But the time she spent with them, made her noticed something very problematic, something that was still easy to fix due to their ages – they still children after all - but that could easily become a problem if let without supervision, an endless cycle if ignored.

In her eyes…

…Gon was a determined kid, optimistic and that liked when things go his way, a force to be reckoned with and that would become even bigger and powerful with time.

…Killua was a frail-looking boy, but he was as tough as a diamond, and she knew why – living with someone like Gon was very challenging, the boy had to be strong to not be engulfed by the other boy desires and selfishness, but brute force does not mean emotional strength, it was clear that someone wronged the Killua, who had a sense of love and affection all distorted and that was clearly putting Gon in a position that none of the boys would know deal.

Gon gave little while Killua gave everything, an unequal relationship whose consequences were visible to Bisket.

She thought they’re cute together, but for their own good, they had to be separated.

Illumi knew Killua better than anyone, his little brother was very emotional to be a killer – he had plenty of potential, but he clung too much to wrong ideas and feelings.

His ‘supposed friends’ can say what they want about Illumi,  but no one can deny that Illumi always loved his little brother and  would protect him from everyone that could hurt him - that is, everyone outside the family.

He knew he had his father’s support, Killua was too important, and his sentimentalism could be fixed, but it was during the exam Hunter that all changed when he saw the boy who was considered a friend of his brother, who corresponded those desires and cravings that his brother should not have.

The boy was dangerous; he can see that in their first confrontation - still a child, still had a lot to grow and therefore had to be killed while it is still possible to shoot him down.

Illumi only thought of his little brother and all his sentimentalism, falling victim to a boy whose ambition, drive and self-centeredness would destroy him and those who were near.

That boy was a monster, still small, still fragile and easy to kill.

He had to be killed.

Hisoka was ecstatic.

Gon... Oooh GON!

Such will, such fiber and determination. That spirit, that thirst for battle, they were so different but at the same time similar in some ways. He saw a great future for the boy; he would be a formidable opponent of tremendous force, virtually unstoppable.

Just thinking about it made him tingle.

And his new favorite toy was not coming alone, he carried a toast - Killua – such a pity the boy be Illumi’s brother, in recent years the boy has grown to become a beauty, a sight for sore eyes, he certainly was not Gon, but he was tasty in his own way.

Hisoka felt goose bumps just thinking about the possibilities...

... Gon and Killua were really close, Killua clearly loves Gon with all his body and soul, it is obvious to everyone but Illumi -, and Gon, well, Gon is like him in some ways, not wanting to divide what he considers his...

Surely his Gon did not know or did not understand the size of Killua’s devotion, but one thing was certain Killua has become the perfect spark.

I kill Alluka to cause Killua’s fury...

Then I capture Killua and play with him for a bit...

Oooh Gon ... how would your reactions be when seeing me take apart your favorite doll...?

Aaahhhh I can even feel his anger, his punches, and his anger making the world burn...

Oooohh...

Kurupika knew something had happened, Leorio’s insistence when trying to call him let it clear.

But when he contacted Killua the boy said nothing, he asked about Gon, but Killua changed the subject, only saying what he needed to know.

There was something strange, but he would not meddle, Gon and Killua understood each other better than anyone else, whatever it was they would find a way to fix it.

Leorio did not understand what was happening, they were so close, but in just two years’ time they were practically strangers.

Why Kurupika was not responding?

Why Ging while knowing that his child was in coma showed no concern?

Why Killua was doing everything by himself?

Why he could not tell to Gon what Killua did for him?

When did they become so far from each other’s?

At the end Gon looked quite good, the same boy as always, he asked about Killua, where he was and what he was doing, but other than that everything was normal, the same excitement, the same joy, especially now that Gon finally found Ging.

Unfortunately Leorio could not say the same about Killua - Alluka was a lovely girl, but there was something sinister in her, and Killua, he seemed to suffer alone, not saying anything and just smiling or joking trying to disguise.

Leorio knew something had happened but he did not know what  - his only evidence was Morel and Kuckles that said something had occurred between Gon and Killua, nothing more - apparently Killua’s suffering was old, but how old?

What he failed to see?

What he could have done to help the boys?

Why Gon was fine, as if nothing had happened while Killua was still suffering.

All he knew is that the two met and together they went out toward where Ging was - Gon happy as always, saying goodbye and telling he would want to visit him soon, Killua smiled, holding his sister’s hand who was never away from him, but said nothing.

Sometime later he discovered that Gon and Killua had followed different paths. He tried to contact Killua but failed.

Gon in turn told him he had lost his Nen and was returning to the Whale Island, his voice when speaking about Killua was a mystery, it was happy but at the same time a little angry, he said Killua was with sister and that would spend some time with her - the promise was clear, Gon would regain his Nen and go after Killua.

"He needs time for him and his sister, but after that he is mine. I'll search for him, after all he promised to be by my side forever!"

Leorio smiled at that, it was cute to hear Gon and his innocence.

But Morel and Ikalgo did not share the same view when he told them about it.

What he was not seeing?

What others knew that he did not know?

He wanted to scream and punch so many people, perhaps the meeting with the Zodiacs were a good opportunity for this.


	2. Conversation

Killua wasn’t avoiding his friends on purpose.

 

He never imagined that he would have to take care of his sister and on top of it be always on the alert because of his brother.

 

This rush made him gradually speak less and less with them.

 

He noticed that Leorio tried to call – _many times_ – and made a mental note to contact as soon as possible.

He also received photos and messages from Gon, the only one he maintained a considerable contact with.

 

But they all were second to him in amid his constant moving from town to town and taking caring of Alluka.

 

However, for more strenuous than that routine was, he was happy because Alluka and Nanika were happy.

 

But he could not deny the emptiness he felt every time he thought about Gon. He missed him, and every time he thought about the other boy his chest hurt.

 

_Could they have gone together? Still together?_

_Maybe yes maybe no..._

_Perhaps he had been too hasty to move forward without Gon ..._

But he did not want to involve Gon in his problems, _Gon did not need this._

 

To not to say that he didn’t speak with anyone, one year ago he came into contact with Kurapika to indicate Bisket for a job.

And he only did it because he knew that Kurapika would not ask anything beyond the basics 'Are you okay?'.

 

And that is what he needed a year ago.

No questions.

He had a lot in his mind.

 

Leorio on the other hand was very empathic and would try to understand him, help him, get involved - everything that he didn’t want to - the old man had enough on his back being a member of the Zodiacs.

 

As for Gon, well, they still talked by phone, but he felt Gon was hiding something from him – what it was he didn’t know and he was scared to ask as well.

 

"... You should see, I got home and Aunt Mito had a stack of books for me to read ..."

 

"Hahaha, I can imagine your face when you saw that."

 

"Aahn ... Killua ... do you ... do you got any new friends? I-I mean, to be alone, just you ... not that Alluka is not a company, but you know ..."

 

"No, Gon. I don’t have any new friends, I haven’t had time. We finally arranged a town to stay, maybe permanently and Alluka want to know how school is, I think it is bullshit, but she wants so ... well, I didn’t have time to get new friends. "

 

"That’s good, Killua!"

 

"How so?"

 

"Well, you don’t need any new friends  because Killua is MY FRIEND! And nobody else!"

 

Killua smiled and felt his cheeks burn red.

 

"Stop saying it! Don’t you get embarrassed?"

 

"Of course not! Killua is MY friend, and if someone wants to be your friend they have to have my approval."

 

"Hahahaha, you truly are a something."

 

"Killua, will you tell me where you are?"

 

"Of course, I first need to get a place, Ikalgo is helping me, so when it’s all right , I will tell you."

 

"Ikalgo ?!"

 

"Yes, he's here, do you remember the chimera octopus?"

 

"Yes, I remember ... why you lied to me, Killua?"

 

Killua frowned - lied? - Not to mention that Gon’s voice was somewhat strange.

 

"Lying? What are you talking about?"

 

"You said you don’t have any new friends!"

 

"What? But Gon, Ikalgo is my friend since ... you know ... the chimera thing…"

 

Killua didn’t like to even remember of chimera ants incident, it had been horrible on so many different levels.

 

"Why Ikalgo know where you are and I don’t? That's not fair, I'm your best friend, I’m not?"

 

"You are..."

 

"So I should know, too!"

 

"Gon! Don’t be stupid! You're my best friend; I just found Ikalgo in the neighborhood while on a job and asked for his help."

 

"Uuuhm, okay. But I didn’t like it."

 

“It is better you learn that things are not always how you want them to be. Well, so as I said when everything is alright I will warn you, I have to go now."

 

"Wait...!"

 

"I have to take Alluka to know one of all the possible schools, Gon, I'll call you later. Bye!"

 

Killua saw nothing wrong in his conversation, he actually brought his hand close to his chest and pressed his shirt - every time was the same thing, talk to Gon brought him joy, warmth, and at the same time anguish.

 

He took a deep breath, standing and smiling he called Alluka.

 

 

Gon on the other hand saw it in a different way, when Killua hung up he stared at the phone for a while.

 

He felt a certain fear that Killua would find another friend and leave him - Killua would never do that! – he was certain of it, yet he was afraid.

 

Killua is my best friend in the whole world, _he's mine, he will not get another friend, I will not let him ..._

Unaware Gon pressed the phone so hard that the phone broke in his hand.

 

_Damn it!_

 

He got up all awkwardly and scratching his head he approached the door, prepared to get a scolding.

 

"Aunt Mito ... I broke the phone ..."

 

 

Killua could not contain his smile, Alluka was so happy with everything he could only be happy to see such joy.

Obviously, he had to show his Hunter license all the time to prove to be the legal guardian of her, but it was worth.

He never had the opportunity to live a normal life, and he would do anything so Alluka could have what he didn’t have.

 

While Alluka was in an experimental class, he met Ikalgo.

 

"Have you found a place to stay, Killua?"

 

"I selected a few, nothing too big, just the necessary, now I just have to choose."

 

Ikalgo watched his friend for a while, Killua had grown, _how much time had passed?_

_1 year and half?_

_2 years?_

 

Killua had grown taller, his appearance more delicate, perfectly hiding the tremendous brute force that the boy possessed.

He smiled at the boy’s delight with something as simple as a chocolate cup.

 

"Well, you can count on me!"

 

"I know, Ikalgo." Killua smiled.

 

Taking another sip from the chocolate, so creamy that could be eaten using a spoon, Killua asked

 

"Ikalgo, you saw the others? Leorio, Kurupika, Morel…?"

 

"I have, they are fine, Leorio don’t stop asking about you, Morel too. Kurupika, well, after the brief passage through the Dark Continent he become quite reclusive. I think he wants to go back there."

 

"Isn’t it dangerous? I would love to see it in person, anyway tell to them that I'm fine."

 

Ikalgo continued to look very serious at Killua that after a while noticed and raised an eyebrow, wondering what it could be.

 

"What? Is there something on my face?"

 

"Will you not ask about Gon?"

 

"Ah! No need to, I talked to him recently."

 

Ikalgo could see Killua smile when speaking of Gon, the boy still felt a lot for the other.

To Ikalgo while such loyalty was beautiful, it was also scary to see how Gon had power over Killua.

 

"I will invite him to visit me as soon as I find a nice place to stay. I have so much to tell him, not to mention that I'm curious to see how much he has changed  ... I bet I'm taller than him now! Hahaha!"

 

"Killua, you didn’t notice anything strange in Gon?"

 

"Strange? Strange how?"

 

"The way he act or speak. His behavior and this story of mine, mine and mine that he always do when talking about you."

 

"Aaah, that. Gon was always selfish, that is nothing new, he doesn't do it with ill intentions Ikalgo, it's just his way of showing concern and care."

 

 _No, it's not normal Killua_ \- this was the Ikalgo meant to say, but did not say.

He didn’t want to bother Killua, the boy more than anyone deserved happiness, deserve to feel wanted and loved.

 

He ignored the alarms on his conscience; he would talk to Leorio later.

 

They considered Gon’s behavior a problem, but Killua’s complacency was also worrying.


	3. Meeting

When he found that had lost his Nen, Gon was in shock, he fought and trained so hard, he thought it was unfair to him that in the end he lost what made him special.

 

But after the surprise come the anger, and the worst was that he had no one but himself to blame, he had done it to himself.

 

Then later came the questioning, Killua had said that his sister,  Alluka, was the one who brought him back, _so why did she not brought his Nen back as well?_

 

He sought Ging and Kite’s help, both came to the conclusion that he didn’t lose Nen, but that his Nen was blocked within his body.

 

_So it is possible to recover it._

 

Gon kept his training, even without Nen he could train to become stronger, he was adolescence and his body had a growth spurt, he grew up not so much in terms of height, but his muscles were getting huge - nothing to like Ging – and he was feeling pretty confident in his brute strength even without Nen.

 

In the midst of his training he tried various ways to bring his Nen back.

Always consulting Kite.

They later came to the conclusion that what was blocking his Nen was himself, that is, he probably could release it entering in contacting with the emotions that block it in the first place.

 

It didn’t take long to Gon felt his Nen again, but he didn’t tell Kite or any of your friends about it.

After all the emotion that brought some of his Nen back was anger - and he didn’t need tip to know that this wasn’t good.

 

Frustrated he continued to try other methods, most unsuccessfully.

 

Until the day Killua called saying that he arranged a place to stay and that Ikalgo was with him.

 

Gon knew that getting angry with Killua because of Ikalgo was bullshit, but he just could not help it - _Ikalgo is an octopus_ , his mind said - but the simple fact of Ikalgo being next to the Killua make him feel something strange.

 

Gon didn’t notice, but also to think of Killua with another friend, of Killua leaving him, fading from his life, betraying their friendship ... made part of his aura came to light.

 

He was so concerned about the broken phone and the possible scolding that Aunt Mito would gave him, that he didn’t notice the black aura that arose around him - he came downstairs with no sense of the danger that he was bringing to himself and others.

 

===============

 

"Wow, I thought you wanted something simple!"

 

"I wanted, I want, but how can I ignore it, Ikalgo? It comes with a home theater, look at this TV! I cannot imagine the hours you'll spend in Joystation!"

 

Killua smiled excited, spinning with open arms as he admired the room.

Ikalgo smiled at the scene, Killua may have grown, but still maintained a childlike quality in him that made him happy to know that Killua was able to be happy despite everything he went through.

 

Killua really is a very strong young man.

 

"But this house is within your budget?"

 

"Yes, they all are ... but your concern is fair. I need to find a way to leave Alluka comfortable and safe so I can get some work."

 

Ikalgo looked worried at Killua – _what kind of work the boy was talking about?_

"Don’t worry, I'm talking about work as Hunter or as a normal civil, I’m not an assassin anymore, I’m out of business for a long time."

 

Later that day, they saw two more houses, but the home theater had won Killua, in the end they took the papers and went to get Alluka.

 

"Brother!"

 

Alluka said running and hugging Killua.

 

"How was school? Did you like? If you don’t want to go, it’s all right, I can teach you everything you need!"

 

"No, brother, I liked it! I want to come back here!"

 

Killua not know how to feel, he wanted Alluka’s happiness but leaving her alone in a place full of strangers didn’t seem a good idea.

But see that smiling, happy and fulfilled face made Killua swallow their concerns.

 

Alluka wanted to try a normal life, with everyday problems, and she wants it, he would give it to her. Anything for her.

 

"Okay. Why don’t you and Ikalgo go buy some ice cream for us? I will meet you guys soon!"

 

He waited for the two to depart before go to speak with the director, aware that she was seen them from inside her room from the beginning.

 

"What you want?"

 

"No need to be rude, boy. I just want to talk about your brother."

 

"Sister!"

 

"Okay, first, we understand that Alluka is special and we would love to have her here with us. But I intend to put her in a special class."

 

"You will isolate her from the others? Why?"

 

"For her and others sake. Children at that age can be cruel, not to mention that she have a significant disadvantage in every field. Don’t worry, she will not be alone, in this class there are other special students. We just want what is the best for her and if she or you don’t like it we can find a way to rearrange the things. "

 

Killua didn’t like what he heard, but in terms of school he didn’t have the least notion of how it works, let alone how children at Alluka’s age must act - after all none of them had a normal childhood to know how the world worked in this regard.

 

He already felt a headache coming, but since he didn’t sense any malice in the director’s aura he agreed with her.

 

It didn’t take long for him to find the two in the ice cream parlor, including Ikalgo had asked a special sunday for him, 'Chocolate Explosion' was the name.

That was enough for him to take some these worldly concerns from his head.

 

 

**2 weeks after**

 

With everything neat at home and Alluka at school, Killua finally decided to send a message to Gon.

 

**_Hi!_ **

**_Finally the preparations are ready!_ **

**_Now you can come visit me!_ **

**_The address is in the attachment  :-D_ **

 

 

When Gon got the message he simply couldn’t contain his joy, he jumped, ran and hugged his grandmother and aunt and told them the news.

On the next day he was ready to go.

**2 days After**

 

Gon found small town very gracious, it was just too small and rustic, with simple people who spent the afternoon in the streets.

For some reason he thought Killua would choose a big city to stay, but he liked the quiet atmosphere of the place.

 

The people were very solicitous and soon he knew where Killua’s house was.

 

"Ah, the beautiful boy who looks after his sister? He is a cute pie, bet he won many hearts already. He lives three streets up."

 

He thanked the lady with a smile and ignored the comment; he knew his friend and Killua would probably burst in shyness before he could be romantic to someone.

 

At arriving he saw a small and graceful house, greenish with white details. It had vases with flowers and iron cannons to adorn the garden.

In a corner he noticed two bicycles, one blue and the other pink, not counting the yellow skateboard.

 

He approached the gate, opening it and entering.

Very quietly, wanting to give a surprise on Killua, he entered the house that seemed much bigger inside than outside, he pricked his ears and heard sounds coming from the somewhere beyond the kitchen.

With silent steps that put an assassin to shame, he approached the yard and what he saw made his heart beat faster.

 

Killua was so beautiful.

He looked like an angel.

 

He had grown up, taller, his skin still white as snow. He could see the muscles, firm, strong but small, a white tank top and purple shorts showing his legs, and his hip would be the envy of many women.

Killua was perfect, his hair longer, stuck in ponytail, with a handkerchief holding the front.

 

"Killua ..."

 

It was everything Gon managed to say.

Killua noticing the presence of someone turned around a little surprised.

 

His sun rosy face, his huge eyelashes and his bright blue eyes.

 

"G-Gon"

 

Gon ran and embraced Killua with all his strength, rising him from the ground.

 

"Killua! I missed you so much!"


	4. What is happening here?

Killua not believe what was happening.

 

_Gon was there._

_He was really there, hugging him, smiling at him, happy..._

_The Gon he missed so much!_

 

Killua felt an enormous joy but when realized that he was still in Gon’s arms he got red with embarrassment and tried to found a way to separate them.

 

"It is enough, Bakaaa. Let me go, don’t you get embarrassed?"

 

"Of course not. I'll never ashamed to embrace you, Killua!"

 

Killua's eyes widened and then immediately looked away, talking quietly

 

"Ilikeyourhugs, baka ..."

 

"What?"

 

"Nothing..."

 

As soon as Gon break his hug Killua got back doing what he was doing, hanging his and his sisters clothes to dry, focused on his task he ignored Gon, who was looking in wave at the albino performing such mundane things.

 

For a moment he remembered his Aunt Mito, how she would get up early every day and clean the house, wash the dishes, clothes, and do the shopping.

 

_That's what Killua was doing in his life?_

_Playing the housewife?_

 

Gon smiled while imagining himself coming back from a mission, coming to his home to see Killua that would be waiting for him - _only for him_ \- with a smile on his face, a loving embrace and food.

 

_But what about our adventures together?_

 

It was true that Gon preferred to travel the world with Killua by his side, so he could make sure no one would take Killua away from him and Killua would be the sensate one to hold in back when he got too crazy, but this other possibility was good too, that way Killua would always be safe.

 

"Gon? Earth to Gon? There’s life in there?"

 

Killua said poking Gon’s forehead.

 

"Hahahaha, sorry, I was thinking about a few things."

 

Killua smiled maliciously, he stood beside Gon and gave a nudges.

 

"Aaaah what it is? Come on, tell me!"

 

Sheepishly, scratching his head and with a little blush Gon said amid a small laughter.

 

"You, a house, a peaceful neighborhood … you waiting for me to come back from a Hunter mission!"

 

Killua's eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his face.

After three blinks he slapped Gon’s head and went back inside the house. Trying hard to hide his own shyness.

 

"Baaakaa! As if I would stay home waiting for grown man!"

 

Laughing Gon followed Killua inside.

Killua offered him a juice and leaning against the sink began to speak.

 

"Gon ... I didn’t even notice your presence, it was like as if you don’t had Nen! When did you learn to do that ?! "

 

Gon could see on Killua's face how thrilled he was with the possibility of a new technique, but unfortunately it wasn’t any of that.

Knowing this, Gon took a sip of juice and a deep breath before answering.

 

"I lost my Nen."

 

"What?!"

 

"But don’t worry I've keep up with my training"

 

The wide eyes, then clenched and an angry expression that Gon knew too well appeared in Killua’s angelic face – _here comes the sermon ..._

 

"What?! Don’t worry ?! You are walking around without your Nen ?! What if you find Hisoka ?! Or my brother ?! Are you aware of the danger ?! You can be strong, but against guys like them be strong is not enough! You need Nen! "

 

Gon raised his hands trying to calm Killua down.

 

"I'm not totally without Nen, Killua. I just can’t access it as I want. And if I found Hisoka is quite possible that he would help me, just to be able to fight with me later. "

 

"I don’t care, you will stay here until I can accompany you back to the Whale Island."

 

"It's okay Killua, don’t worry. I'm much stronger now and that only with my physical strength alone. "

 

Gon said flexing muscles in a playful gesture.

Killua looked astonished and felt a bit of envy, why Gon can be so manly while he can’t grow bigger muscles no matter what he does.

 

But who was he kidding; he saw what Gon could become after long years of constant training...

But still it wouldn’t matter if he got no Nen ...

 

"Didn’t you hear what I said ?! Without Nen, you – don’t - have - a – CHANCE!"

 

Killua had not liked to know it and on top of that to be informed so late in the game – _for_ _how long Gon was without Nen? Why didn’t he say anything?_

Killua was more than preoccupied.

His brother and his strange obsession with him can be a danger to Gon.

Even if he succeeded in getting his father to give orders to his brother leave him in peace, Killua knew the risks and was worried, he didn’t know if he would be able to protect Alluka and Gon.

 

_Protect them? He? Who had failed both?_

_He left Alluka alone and prisoner on their own house..._

_He left Gon get lost amid his fury and impotence..._

 

_Fury and impotence..._

 

And then Killua, looking Gon’s figure remembered Gon’s transformation, how he had changed, become a man he didn’t recognize.

The Gon in front of him was strong, wasn’t as big or tall as the one back then, but it was possible to see that monster on the boy in front of him.

 

Remembering this, Killua's face was so sad that Gon stopped doing what he was doing, approaching Killua to held his shoulders, worried about his friend's reaction.

 

"Killua? It's all right?"

 

Killua looked at Gon, but all he saw was that monster that punched Pitou’s head to nothing.

His eyes widened and filled with tears, he shook his head in denial, knowing that it was on his mind, but still tried to pull away from Gon, who in turn held him more tightly.

 

"Killua ?!"

 

Killua never forgot what he saw that day.

Never forgot how scared, powerless and alone he felt while watching his Gon disappear and become something else.

He tried, but he couldn’t.

 

Unaware of it Gon clenched Killua's shoulders harder than necessary and when he hear the groans of discomfort, he looked at Killua, this time closer to each other and saw something that disturbed him.

 

There were bruises on his snow white skin that were not fighting bruises, but as if something had sucked the area.

 

_But what...?_

 

His face immediately changed, gradually Gon stopped thinking logically and slowly beginning to be taken by his emotional side, he didn’t do it on purpose but he needed to know who did it to his Killua, who hurt his friend’s body. He didn’t thought about what Killua was thinking or feeling, he didn’t know how his attitude was bringing memories that Killua wanted to forget.

 

"What is it!?"

 

Killua was sweating cold, it was as if he was reliving a nightmare, he felt a dark aura overwhelming the environment, increasing the pressure on the place, he swallowed dry looking at Gon trying to understand what was going on – _hadn’t he lost Nen? So what is it then?_

 

Gon ran his hands down, putting then on Killua arms strolling on the skin and inspecting each piece of Killua’s arm with an absence of emotion that Killua briefly felt as if he were an object.

Killua was strong enough to get rid of that situation, but he seemed in shock and his lack of response only made Gon angrier.

 

"I ASKED, WHAT IS THAT?"

 

The pain in his arms and Gon’s blank look brought Killua back, he looked at what Gon was seeing and noticed faint bruises, almost fading and he wondered what they were and where they came from.

 

"Gon ... that's nothing to-"

 

"WHO?"

 

"I-I was just helping o-"

 

"WHO?"

 

"LET ME TALK!"

 

Gon was quiet, but didn’t let go, Killua puffed out his chest and said firmly - _he did nothing wrong, he did not need to explain anything, he would not be afraid or be put against the wall._

 

"It must have been Ikalgo’s tentacles, they were made to stick on surfaces, they must have done it on my skin just because I'm too white."

 

But his explanation did not seem enough.

 

"Why Ikalgo tentacles were on you?"

 

"Gon? Gon, what the fuck is this? "

 

Killua pushed Gon away from him; Gon in turn quickly recovered from the push and started walking forward him when they heard in the distance.

 

"Brother! Brother I arrived! "

 

Killua looked at Gon and then at the door, there was something strange here, something wrong with his friend, but Killua chose to ignore for the moment, his sister had come home and he didn’t want to worry her about it.

 

Without thinking much more he took off the head scarf, straightened his clothes, and got out the door without looking at Gon.

When looking at the gate he saw his sister approaching together with another young man, one that he recognized - the son of the market owner, a gentle young man who helped him a lot - but he felt that it was a bad time to the man to show up, right now the last thing he needed is a friendly stranger to Gon get more stranger than he already is.

 

Killua had not seen, but Gon fist began to shine seconds before him get out.

Gon still blind to the world except from his only goal to get answers and punish the ones who hurt Killua.

He got out and looked at Killua, Alluka and a man he has never seen before, but that he was being too friendly with Killua.

 

_Killua had said he had no friends beyond him._

_Was Killua lying to him?_

_No! Killua would not do it to him! Killua would not betray him._

_But Killua walked away. Killua started a life without him._

_No! Killua is protecting his sister, he needed to get away._

_But Killua hadn’t told him about Ikalgo._

_What if Killua is hiding something?_

 

Killua felt Gon’s look on his back, but continued to act as if nothing was going on, he didn’t know, but he was only making the situation even worse in the long run.

 

"Brother!"

 

He looked smiling at Alluka, giving her a hug and thanking the young man for bringing her home safe and sound.

The young man smiled and walked away noticing the stare on the guy at the door, Alluka then noticed something in her brother's arms.

 

"Brother, what is this? Did you get hurt?"

 

Killua looked at his arms and saw fingers marks – _how?_ \- Not knowing what to do with his arms he put his hands in shorts pockets giving her a forced smile.

 

"It was nothing. Aaah almost forgot ... Gon came to visit us. "

 

"Oh ?! Yay! Gooon "

 

Alluka ran toward the door where Gon was, Killua briefly became frightened, ready to defend his sister when he looked at Gon, who smiled warmly and playing hard to get, running away from his sister’s hug.

Their laughter was contagious, but didn’t stop Killua from noticing that Gon looked like a totally different person from the one he was confronting seconds ago.

_What's going on here?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well folks, here’s the thing ...
> 
> Killua in my fic, contacted his father and asked him stop Illumi from following him, how long will it last? It is part of the mystery.
> 
> Gon is not crazy or at last not crazy all the time, I'm using a lot of those conflicts that he had during his fight against Pitou, where one side of him blamed himself and the other blamed Pitou - something like this - a portion of him is wildly possessive and jealous while another is the same sweet boy he know and love - with all his egoisms and follies.
> 
> And yes, Killua is not blind to it, but him being Killua and Gon being Gon, we know that Killua tends to yield, Gon even say that to Ikalgo about how Killua tends to obey if he keeps insisting.
> 
> To end this not, soon the rest of the cast will appear.


	5. Why?

If it weren’t for Alluka, Killua was sure that their evening would have been very strange, after all Gon’s tantrum had been at least unexpected.

 

But Alluka was happy with his visit, both for her but mostly for her bother, she knew how important Gon is to her bother and how much her bother loves Gon, despite him denying it – she was so anxious with all the things he wanted to tell Gon that she quickly forgot about the bruises on Killua’s arm, after all, Gon was a special visit, and she had so many experiences to share, tips about other places to visits, tours that they had.

 

Killua smiled at the scene, his sister was so happy waving her arms showing how big something she saw was and Gon smiling talking about what he and Killua have undergone in a determined place - he spoke from time to time with a story or two about something very embarrassing that Gon had done - they laughed and he turned to look at the scene with a tightness in his chest that came from something other than grief, _but what could it be?_

_Happiness?_

_Affection?_

_Love?_

 

He didn’t know and a growling stomach took him from his thoughts.

 

"Hehehe, okay okay, I get the message Gon. I'll get some pizza for us."

 

"Hey, brother, why don’t you cook for us? I'm sure Gon will like."

 

Gon looked at him with big, bright eyes, Killua even felt embarrassed by size itself.

 

"You can cook?!"

 

"One thing or another ..." Killua said turning his face and scratching his head.

 

"Gon! You should taste his rice with vegetables! It’s sooooo good!"

 

Killua didn’t know, but the way he once looked at Gon with awe for all his experience with dating older women, Gon looked and felt the same in that very moment.

 

Killua shone in Gon’s eyes...

 

"I want to taste your food, Killua."

 

"It’s no big deal, I only know the basics. And-and-it's too late it will take too long to be ready. I'll order a pizza for us."

 

"If Killua made it, it is good and I want it!"

 

Killua looked at Gon, he was almost giving up and doing what Gon desired but…

 

"Please...?" Gon said to him.

 

Gon was not playing fair, but then he took a deep breath, he had already made his decision and would not back down from it.

 

"No. As I said it's late, I will ask for the pizzas, which flavors you want?"

 

Gon was annoyed, but soon recovered, and Killua without understanding his own reasons, spoke softly to Gon.

 

"I promise that tomorrow I will cook just do for you, okay?"

 

That was enough for Gon to smile and he went back to talk to Alluka, Killua in turn kept repeating in his head - _I didn’t give in, I chose the day, I chose the day I wanted, because I wanted to ..._

 

They eat, talk, laugh, it was like the old days and after Alluka went sleeping Killua began to prepare Gon’s improvised bed.

 

"Killua ... I was thinking, how about we visit YorkShin, you know to see Kurupika and Leorio. I heard that they are now part of the Zodiacs."

 

Killua stopped what he was doing and sat on the bed.

 

"Gon, I can’t, Alluka is attending school now, not to mention YorkShin is a big and noise city with a lot of Nen users, and I can’t protect you both."

 

"You don’t need to protect me."

 

"What? Why? How not? You don’t have Nen, Gon. Did you forget?"

 

"I haven’t, the thing is that I can still use Nen I just can’t use it as easily as before."

 

"It’s the same thing as not have Nen, Baaaaka."

 

"I'm going with or without you, I'll venture, I will fight, I will do everything I've always done, it’s not the Nen that will stop me."

 

"Are you crazy? You can’t, it's dangerous!"

 

"And since when I run away from danger?"

 

"Never, and that's why I'm here to shove some reason into your damn airhead!"

 

Gon smiled strangely at him.

 

"That's right; I will go and if you really want to stop me or protect me, you have to go with me."

 

Killua grabbed the bed sheet – _it’s wasn’t fair, wasn’t fair!_ \- But his thoughts are interrupted when he feel Gon’s hand on his.

 

"Gon ... that's not fair. You cann’t make me choose between you and Alluka."

 

"Then Alluka come with us."

 

"NO! I will not put Alluka in danger, not even for you. She'll be here, she's happy here ..."

 

"And you?"

 

“What?”

 

“Are you happy?”

 

"Shut up. I made up my mind, and Alluka and I will stay here, if you want to go, then go, I'll be waiting for your return."

 

When he tried to pull his hand, Killua noticed that Gon had held his hand.

 

"Gon?"

 

Gon looked seriously at him, his eyes half-empty.

 

"I understand, I'm not number one anymore, I am no longer your priority, you said it yourself. It’s all right, but I will not give up Killua, you know me, you know that."

 

Killua gulped and with a little more force he pulled his hand away from Gon’s hand and lifting up and turning off the lights.

 

"Let's go to sleep."

 

In the middle of the night, Killua felt the bed move and out of nowhere, hands grabbed his hip and turned him around.

 

"G-Gon?"

 

Gon looked at him in a strange way, Killua’s instincts screamed at him to shock Gon away from and run – _Gon’s eyes screamed danger._

 

"Killua, you will not leave me, right?"

 

"No." Killua looked into the void of those brown and empty eyes that so much reminded him of his brother.

 

"Good, that relief."

 

Gon said approaching their faces, their foreheads and noses touching, an action that Killua wanted to happen and even came to fantasize about it, but not like that, not with that detachment.

 

But nothing happened, Gon turned away and returned to his makeshift bed, Killua who was holding his breath, breathed again, looking at the dark ceiling, sweating cold, he deciding he'd call Murel in the morning.

 

_There's something wrong here._

_There is something wrong with Gon._

_I have to understand it to help him._

 

In the next morning Killua woke up early to prepare their breakfast when the sounds of Alluka and Gon talking made him leave the kitchen.

 

"Good morning, Gon! Good morning, Alluka!"

 

Gon was sitting at the table, smiling and happy, so different from last night.

 

"KIII-lu-ah, I want to go YorkShin."

 

When Killua hear that voice, when he hear his name he felt as if the ground beneath his feet ceased to exist.

 

_What is happening?_

_Why?_

 

"Na-Nanika?"


	6. Morel

Morel didn’t expect that call, in fact he didn’t even recognized the number and would probably ignore it if wasn’t for his habit of always pick the phone.

"Hello?"

"Morel? It’s me,  Killua. "

He really didn’t expect that call, Killua had diminished his contact with them gradually to the point of nonexistent.

The few things he and the others knew about Killua were through Kurupika and mostly recently Ikalgo that by chance had he met the boy in a small town. Still it was little information and as always - for everyone's concern – it was directly linked with Gon.

"Killua! How are you?"

"I'm fine, finally at peace ... I think."

Morel could feel an uncertainty in the boy's voice.

"Not wanting to be rude, but being straightforward. Something is happening? You simply cut the communication with us and almost disappear for complete, something must have happened for you to call so suddenly. "

There was a silence and for a moment Morel feared he has said too much, questioned too much, but how not to, after all, Killua is a very strong boy, very determined, but also very emotional.

"It's Gon ..."

_I knew it!_

"What about him?"

"He came to visit me ... visit us ... it was quite suddenly, without warning, not that I mind, but he is acting more weird than normal."

"Weird how? Since when?"

"I noticed something wrong while we talked on the phone and just mentioned Ikalgo and he started talking some strange things, but at the same time it's Gon, he always has his moments of tantrum, it’s nothing new so I decided to ignore it ..."

Morel had have a brief idea of what Killua was saying, Ikalgo himself had come into contact with him and Leorio informing them about the strange content of Gon and Killua’s  onversations, and he had seen it, firsthand how much control Gon have over Killua actions.

"And?"

"Well, he came to visit me ..."

Morel didn’t force anything, he remained silent waiting for Killua tell him what he wanted at his own pace.

"... It was okay, I was so happy to see him again, but then he started acting strange, demanding answers of stupid things, and then… at night... he…"

"Killua !? What exactly is going on there? "

Morel could hear the rapid breathing; he could tell the boy was trying not to cry.

"He's always so excited, he always accompanied me, he saved me, showed me a life I didn’t know, and I ... I'm doubting him, how can I do this to him?"

"What do you want to tell me? Do you need anything?"

"Morel ... I ... Gon, he has intimated two people, he is having a bizarre behavior with everyone who approaches me. Morel… I saw those same empty eyes directed at me! And a horrible aura that barely let me breathe ...”

That was exactly what Leorio feared and had explained to him, but he still didn’t understand how this was happening, everyone knew Gon, he was a good boy, is a good boy.

_What was happening? And when things began to be like this?_

"Don’t you want to come here?"

"I'm coming, liking it or not."

"What?"

"I no longer have a choice; I will be there tomorrow, at most the day after."

"What happened?"

"Alluka… no…  Nanika happened. "

"How? You told us that Nanika didn’t do requests for family members. "

"And she doesn’t, it means that someone gave her a command, someone she likes."

"Don’t tell me you think it was Gon?"

"Who else could have been, he wants to go to YorkShin and he wants me to go with him."

Morel was concerned - it was serious, Nanika’s powers were dangerous and Gon knew the risks –what that boy did is no different from point a gun at Killua and threaten him with death if he didn’t obey.

But before he could say anything, he heard a familiar voice in the background.

**_"Killua, I come back! Oh! Who are you talking to?"_ **

**_"Hi, Gon! You brought what I asked you? ... "_ **

**_"Yes."_ **

**_"Thank you, Gon."_ **

**_"So… you didn’t answer me. With who are you talking to?"_ **

After a brief silence ...

**_"With Morel."_ **

"Killua, are you okay? What's happening there?"

"Killua is doing great. Here is Gon tallking. And you Morel, how are you? "

"Oh- aah, Gon! How are you? I'm great. I learned just now that you will come to YorkShin! I’m happy because I'll be there too. We could meet each other."

"Really? My oh my, we wanted it to be a surprise! But apparently Killua can’t keep a secret, right, Killua? So much like me when I was younger. hahaha "

The laughter and apparently happiness in Gon’s voice didn’t fooled Morel. Apparently Gon didn’t count that Killua could inform someone of their travel.

"Well, what is done is done, we’ll see you tomorrow, I think."

"Yes, I will be waiting for you guys."

"Me too, I want see everyone again. Until there then. Bye!"

"Wait! Gon! I wanted to talk to Kill- "

And the connection was cut off in his face.

Morel didn’t take even a second before making another call.

"Leorio, I have some worrisome news and I need you here. Meet me in YorkShin tomorrow. "

\--------------------------------------------------------------

"Gon! I was talking with the Morel! "

Gon looked at the phone and then at Killua, then immediately put Killua’s phone on his pocket.

"Hey! It's my phone! Give it back!"

"I will return it to you when we were in Yorkshin! Goddamit! Why did you told him that we were going to YorkShin!? "

"Hey, aren’t we going there to see everyone? So why can I not tell it to them?"

"No, you can’t, you shouldn’t!  I was going to tell them, I wanted a day with you, just you, but now you blew it up! Now everyone will be there waiting for us, getting in the way, taking our time. "

"Gon ..."   _Do you want to spend a day just me? Like a date? Really?_   "Why didn’t you tell me?"

"It was a secret! A surprise for you."

_I messed up? Maybe Gon was just stressed from the travel and packing up. Why didn’t I trust him? I’m sorry Gon!_

"Gon ... Gon, I’m sorry."

Killua said approaching Gon, his face blushing and unsure of what to say or do. He took a deep breath and lightly hugged Gon, who after a moment of shock returned the hug with full force.

Gon said nothing, but he like when Killua took the initiative, he liked to have Killua so close to him, feeling Killua’s body, warmth and smell. Everything in Killua was charming and he knew it was wrong to want Killua just for himself, but...

_It wasn’t he who saved  Killua  from the darkness? It wasn’t he who brought light into Killua’s life?_ _That allowed the world to know that beautiful boy with an even more beautiful heart?_

No one would know Killua, not even Killua himself, if it wasn’t for him.

_Thus, even if it was selfish, it was his right to have Killua just for him._

_Wasn’t it?_

Gon gently broke the hug and hold Killua’s arms while sincerely spoke to him.

"No… there is no need to apologize. I overdid it, I'm sure when we get there we will find a time for us. Not to mention that you are going with me, just like the old days and it already makes me very happy. "

Gon picked up the phone and stretched his hand, returning it to Killua.

"Here. I'm sorry for being a jerk. "

Killua took the phone back, his eyes huge and he looked back at Gon, this time in admiration.

"You didn’t need to do that for me to follow you; you know it, don’t you?"

"I know, and I can’t explain why the way I did acted. I was afraid, afraid of being alone again. I don’t know what I'd do without you. You're too good for me, Killua. "

"Stop it! Don’t you get embarrassed? "

Killua said looking away and scratching his head, Gon smiled at the scene and then immediately laughed - it was so nostalgic, so familiar.

"Of course not, why would be embarrassed from telling the truth?"

"Baaaka"

Killua said giving a little punch on Gon's shoulder.

"Killua, why don’t we go out for ice cream before getting Alluka in the school?"

Killua smiled with a serenity that made him even more beautiful in Gon’s eyes.

"Of course. I will show you a fantastic place! "


	7. Plans

"The name is chocolate explosion. Incredible isn’t? "

Killua spoke at the same time that he enthusiastically ate the ice cream. Gon agreed with him, the ice cream was incredible, but it was too sweet for him.

"Yes, it is."

Killua looked suspiciously at him and giving a small smile and raising one eyebrow he said:

"Can’t eat any more, eh?"

Gon gave him an embarrassed smile trying to disguise while Killua on the other hand without thinking twice spooned the other's ice cream.

"Hey!" Gon protested.

"Hihihi, you're not eating."

"Yes, I am, give it back!"

Killua took a generous spoonful of Gon's ice cream and slowly brought it to his mouth.

"I will not return, aaaaah"

Gon stood up, curled up in his chair and tried to stop Killua from eating, Killua in turn was sneaky and in a quick motion shoved spoon into Gon's mouth.

Gon gasped and through coughing and watery eyes he saw Killua laughing.

"Hahahaha ... you should see your face ... hahaha"

Gon took his spoon and did the same with Killua.

"Arrrgh, GON! Why did you do that?"

"You started it!"

And before they could realize it became a dispute, they didn’t know how much time had passed, only stopping when they noticed a shadow covering their shapes, they both turned around to see the owner of the ice cream shop looking at them with angry red eyes.

They looked at the man and the man looked back at them.

Killua had Gon’s neck trapped in his arm, Gon in turn, despite losing the physical fight, had won their mini food war, the ice cream in Killua's hair made it very obvious.

The chairs were spread around them and the table was turned upside down, that said a lot about what was happening and how the two boys have lost control of their game.

After a very embarrassing conversation and a lot of negotiations, they manage to agree with a price to pay for all the damage they have done, in the end that ice cream ended up being more expensive than a lunch in a good restaurant, despite of that they both walked away smiling, sticky and happy.

"Killua! Gon! "

Alluka happily come to see them, and as she approached, she noticed their precarious and sugary state.

"What happened?"

"Gon destroyed the ice cream shop."

"Hey, I didn’t do that!"

"Did you go to the ice cream shop without me?" Alluka said with huge eyes, ready to cry.

"We can go again!" Gon said excitedly.

"No! We'll be kicked out of there! Let's go to the market, there's ice cream there too! "

Gon didn’t like the suggestion, he wanted to have ice cream again and have his revenge against Killua, but without Alluka's support it was difficult to get what he wanted, and Alluka was happy to go to the market anyway.

He crossed his arms and annoyed started to follow the brothers.

In the market they bought a 5 liters pot of ice cream and 1kg of chocolate syrup.

Gon thought that was an exaggeration, but knowing Killua that was barely enough.

He was walking in the market’s hallways while Killua was looking for something, in that time he observed the place, it was simple and rather graceful.

As he watched he heard a familiar laugh, Gon followed the sound and saw Killua talking to that young man from the market.

Gon clenched his fist, _that was the second time Killua had disappeared to talk to that young man._

Without noticing Gon was releasing his aura, thus catching Killua’s attention who turned and looked at him with startled eyes.

 _So Killua is actually hiding something from me_ , Gon thought.

Before Gon could do anything, Killua quickly walked toward him, grabbed his arm, tossing his wallet to Alluka and begging her to pay the bill as he quickly left the place dragging Gon with him.

"What the hell was that?" Gon angrily asked to Killua.

"It is me who should be asking it, Gon!  What the fuck? What is this freaking aura of yours? "

"Who is he? That’s third time I see you talking to him ... "

"I have already said that he is the son of the owner of this market and that he helps me from time to time. Now tell me, what the fuck is this? "

"He is your friend?"

"Gon! Enough of that! "

Gon tugged at his arm away from Killua’s hold, then he looked at Killua in an intimidating way, taking two steps toward him.

Killua didn’t back down, but he did not fail to notice that Gon had grown more muscular than he had over the years.

"He's too friendly to be just a friend. Don’t lie to me Killua, who is he? "

"What the fucking shit Gon! I already said! And he's just a friend. "

Those words had a very negative effect - Gon no longer cared if they were in the middle of the street, and that people could see them. He started to speak louder and louder moving toward Killua, who began to take a few steps back.

"You lied to me!"

"Huh?"

"You said that I am your only friend!"

"G-Gon?"

"LIAR!"

Gon grabbed Killua's arm and just didn’t break it because Killua have trained so much over the years that he instinctively wrapped his body with Nen.

"YOU WILL TELL ME THE TRUTH!"

"Gon wait!"

"NOW!"

“Gon?  Killua?"

And it was as if time had stopped, Gon stopped and taking advantage of Gon's shock, Killua free his arm and ran away.

Just then Gon looked around and saw the people staring, the young man from the market looked at him with huge eyes and Alluka have an accusing gaze.

"You made Killua cry!"

Alluka said angrily, Gon couldn’t face her, he looked down and in a voice that reminded more of Gon they knew so much he talked to the young man.

"Can you help us and take Alluka home? I think you know where Killua lives. "

Gon didn’t have to say nothing more, the young man knew that the request was for him and after witnessing that aura the second time he could only agree.

"I'll find your brother, Alluka. And I'm going to apologize. "

Gon said that and ran off in the same direction Killua went.

 

***********************************************

 

He remembered very well when the albino boy appeared in town, his eyes deep, tired and much older than the boy himself.

It was not long before everyone in town adopted the brothers - _yes they knew that Alluka was a boy, but if he wanted to be identified with a girl they would do so._

Clearly those two were running away from someone - _there was a lot of gossip in town about who it could be, home, family, the choices were many._

It took a while and then in a very normal day, out of nowhere the albino came and talked to him.

"Do you know Nen?"

And that's how it all started. Apparently he had the ability to use Nen, in a short time the albino’s visit become more frequently and he learned his name – _Killua._

In exchange for proving all his cooking experiences, Killua taught him the basics of Nen.

They lived in peace, after all, that town was very small and didn’t have much excitement or things to do.

But then the dark-haired boy appeared and at the time he knew there was something wrong. That look made him feel a cold down on his spine and made his heart almost stop. Definitely not normal.

On the first day they meet, he was worried about leaving Killua alone with that boy.

But that wasn’t the last time he saw the dark boy.

One normal day like every other one, the boy appeared in the store.

"Stay away from Killua!"

"Wh-what?"

"You heard me well, get away from him."

He didn’t understand anything, what had he done wrong?

Whatever it was, it had bothered the boy.

"I know what you want, but Killua is mine! Did you hear me? MINE!"

He would even respond, but he was in shock seeing that black aura around the boy - _he had never seen anything like that_ \- he just shook his head in agreement and only realized that he was holding his breath when the boy left.

Unfortunately that is a small town and in a short time Killua learned of the incident and came to apologize for it.

He had no more doubt - _if Killua wasn’t running away from that boy it was good to start doing it right at that moment._

"Alluka ..."

The girl looked at him.

"Are you all right? Do you know if brother is as well? "

Alluka smiled a half sad smile.

"We are, my brother is. As soon as they understand each other, it will get better. "

"Are you sure? That boy is dangerous. "

"Yes, he is. But he loves my brother and my brother loves him. "

He just stared in amazement at the girl's innocence.

"Alluka ... love sometimes is not enough to change people."

"It may even be true, but my brother's love is capable of that. His love changed me for the better! He was able to see who I really am. "

 

********************************************

 

Morel was at the airport waiting for Leorio perplexed by how he could lose a man that tall among until he heard screams and then found Leorio screaming at someone on the phone as the people passing by looked at him.

"Leorio!"

"MOREL! HOW ARE YOU?!"

Leorio screamed in his face, hanging up the phone in the face of whoever he was talking to.

"No need to shout, Leorio."

"My bad. Kurupika drives me crazy with his reassurance. So what did you want to talk about? "

"Let's have some coffee and I'll update you."

They walked to the nearest coffee shop and searched for a quiet corner with little movement to talk.

"Killua will come too !?" Leorio asked in surprise.

"Yes, but that's not the problem. Gon apparently forced Killua to come. He called me, Leorio, and I could only think of what you said. "

"Gon's forcing Killua, that's not good."

They were silent for a while.

"I saw what Gon did and was able to do during the confrontation with the ants, if that side of him is still alive inside him, Gon is a danger not only for Killua but for all of us."

"He would not hurt Killua, at least not physically." Leorio refused to even imagine such a scenario, but Morel didn’t seem to share the same faith in Gon that he possessed.

"I'm afraid to disagree, perhaps not on purpose, but if you see what I saw you would no longer doubt it. Not to mention that I don’t think it's a good idea to let him go to the Black Continent, he's very young, not very experienced and emotionally unstable and childish. "

"I agree, but I still don’t think it's possible for him to hurt Killua, my biggest problem is him dragging Killua into dangerous and suicidal situations. I've seen it happen and Killua will end up giving in to him and following him, I've seen it happen more than once. "

Another disturbing silence, and after a huge sip of coffee that burned down, Leorio let out a smoke through his mouth and said.

"They're young, we should have noticed this before ..."

"We noticed, but we chose to ignore because it was convenient for us. We should have helped them, shown how toxic their relationship was getting. "

"What do you suggest?" Asked Leorio.

"We have to separate them."

"Are you going to buy a fight with Gon? Because he will interpret this as a reason to fight. "

"I know the risks, but I think we have to talk to them separately."

Leorio thought for a moment, "I see, so Gon cannot pressure Killua to stay with him."

Morel nodded, and with a serious, worried face, he warned.

"We're going to need more people. Something tells me that Gon will not like this conversation. "


	8. Killua, I love you!

Killua walked aimlessly for a long time.

He knew he had to go back, after all they were going to travel in the next morning, but he hesitated to return - he didn’t feel ready to face Gon, not only because of Gon’s attitude, but because of his own feelings.

Just like in Yorkshin where Gon decided what to do despite of what he thought about it, where he just stay quiet and followed, glad to be part of the group, glad to be his friend.

Just as in the Greed Island where his hands were badly hurt - and all he felt was joy at hearing that Gon wanted him to continue playing, that it had to be him.

Just like with the chimeras, where he had been driven away, his feelings and loyalties disdained by the one whom matters the most, but he continued following Gon, obeying Gon, protecting Gon … loving Gon.

Killua noticed the problem, he realized that things were getting out of control if they had not already.

Gon is an incredible boy, loyal and charismatic, but also a selfish, stingy boy...

Gon is the light of Killua's life, and Killua like a fly flew toward that light even knowing he will only get hurt, even knowing that that light, so beautiful, can kill him even though it doesn’t want to.

He had to pull away, but he couldn’t.

And there he was again, swallowing his feelings, put his needs and desires apart and obeying, following, protecting someone who may be glad to be his light but could not stop from hurting him and the most tragic of it all is that all he could think of was how Gon felt.

_Is Gon all right?_

_I was so rude!_

_No!_

He knew that the wrong one was Gon, but that was Gon and Gon had always been like this, he should know that this would occur, he should avoid situations Gon doesn’t like.

_Isn’t it true?_

_I knew it could happen and I still did it, that means I provoked him, so I'm the one to blame._

Killua was so distracted that he didn’t notice Gon approaching until he heard his name.

"Killua!"

He turned to see Gon run toward him.

"Killua!"

His heart pounded, his cheeks flushed - _Gon was looking for him!_

Gon in turn approached Killua - it seemed that he would embrace him, but he stopped at the last moment.

"Killua ..." Gon gasped "... I'm sorry."

Killua stood, without much reaction.

Gon in turn continued to speak, he spoke looking into Killua's eyes, as if searching for his soul.

"I know I've apologized before, I know this is all I do, I hurt you and then I come to apologize, I know this is wrong ..."

Killua seeing the guilt in Gon's eyes couldn’t agree with what was being said, even if it was true.

"Gon ... you don’t nee-"

"No, Killua, you have to stop tolerating this and I have to stop doing it! … We are wrong, both of us and you know that."

"G-Gon ..."

"Gin may be a lot of things, but he told me that when we apologize we have to promise never to do that again, we have to act differently. I owe it to you."

Killua's eyes filled with tears, that was what he wanted to hear in the past, but for some reason, after life hit him continually, he had lost some of his faith.

Not that he doubted Gon, far from it, but how to blindly believe when experience shows him otherwise.

Killua felt Gon's hand wipe away the few tears that ran down his face. He blushed, gave a faint smile and a pat on Gon's hand.

"Let's go back, Gon."

"You forgive me?" Gon asked.

"Let's go back." It was all Killua answered.

\--------------------------------------------------------- 

In the house the silence was disturbing; it was so big that it looked like an invisible wall was created between Killua and Gon.

Alluka tried to cheer up her brother, and she succeeded, but Gon kept looking at them with a sad smile on his face - she knew he wanted to be there beside Killua, receiving Killua's smile, maybe even his anger, anything but silence.

"Well ... everything is ready for tomorrow. I think we should go to sleep as we wake up tomorrow."

Killua said leaving to take a shower.

Gon and Alluka stayed where they are and Alluka decided to help.

"Gon-san!"

Gon that was looking at the empty hallway turned to look at her.

"Yes?"

"Why don’t you go talk to Killua?"

"I don’t think he wants to talk to me."

"Aaah, silly." Alluka said with a smile "Killua loves to talk to you, he just can’t resist, why don’t you try?"

She didn’t say anything more - her intentions were good, after all, Gon left her brother happy, at least happier than when he was not there.

 -----------------------------------------------------

Killua needed to cool his head, to hear Alluka say his name instead of calling him brother made him remember his situation, it was Nanika, and that wasn’t a simple request.

_It was an order ..._

_A sentence ..._

Killua didn’t do it but he got no choice.

He stood there thinking and after years where he spent living with Alluka and even before – when he and Gon were children – he got the costume to not lock the bathroom door.

Killua plunged his entire body into the water and stood there meditating, he always trained his Ren at such times, and several times he would leave the water sugary by accident.

Lost in his thoughts, in his doubts and in how to get out of the situation he found himself into, he didn’t question the presence that entered the bathroom.

"I'm busy now, Alluka ..."

The silence, so unusual to Alluka, made Killua open his eyes and meet Gon.

"Aaah!"

The scare made him splash some water on the brunette as he tried to hide himself by bringing his legs close to him with his arms entwining them.

"Hehehe, my bad, I didn’t mean to scare you."

"Don’t you know you have to knock the door? Baaaka!"

"Well, it was open and you have nothing I haven’t seen before, Killua."

"That's not the problem! Get out of here, Gon!"

Gon was silent, his gaze a little surprised, but he soon recovered, he went there with a purpose, he needed an answer and would not leave without.

"No!"

"Excuse me?" Killua said angrily, releasing his aura and making it clear he wasn’t kidding.

"I said no, I want an answer from you!"

"Well, you're going to wait until I finish here, now get out!"

Killua started to get up, Gon would get out the bathroom even if it was the force.

But Gon's reaction was another, while Killua was getting up, Gon grabbed his shoulders and made him sit in the tub again.

Killua in turn tried to get out of the tub while Gon was practically getting into it in an attempt to keep him in place.

"Stop this Gon!"

"No! Not until you tell me you forgive me!"

“What are you talking about?”

Killua asked confused and at the same time a little bewildered.

"I apologized earlier today and you didn’t tell me if you forgave me or not!"

"G-Gon, let me go, we'll talk tomorrow, okay ? ..."

"You're ignoring me!"

"I'm because you're being an asshole! Now you leave me be!"

It was then that the situation changed, Gon close the distance between them, pushing his body against Killua and using his physical strength to press Killua between him and the bathroom wall.

Killua could feel Gon's body, the heat emanating from him, his big, rough hands, one gripping his hair, another dangerously close to his ass - that alone was enough for Killua to freeze in a mixture of excitement and fear.

But it was the unexpected kisses that Gon gave on his neck that took him out of his trance.

"Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me ..." Gon spoke softly between the kisses.

_That wasn’t Gon._

_Gon could be straightforward but he wasn’t a person who would do that._

But Killua also knew that Gon got what he wanted, had what he wanted, and went all the way to achieving his goals.

"LET ME GO!"

Killua began to release his aura and Gon replied in the same way, that was no longer a simple argument, it was gradually getting out of control.

\-------------------------------------------------------------- 

Nearby, Alluka heard the noises, felt the aura and rose up going to where the two boys were.

Killua released his Hatsu, the electricity ran loose and with a simple jerk he threw Gon to the other side of the bathroom.

Gon hit the wall breaking the sink and several tiles, falling to the floor in spasms as his body tried to recover from the shock.

Killua in turn got out of the tub with some difficulty, water conducts electricity and even he being resistant to it, that didn’t mean he was immune.

For a moment he looked at Gon on the floor and he was worried, but while lying there with his body still recovering, Gon began to release that sinister aura from before.

Killua's instincts screamed for him to run out of there and so he did it running toward the door only to be stopped by Gon who grabbed his heel and pulled Killua's feet.

The years of experience prepared Killua for this, he stopped his fall with his arms and spun trying to hit a kick in Gon’s face.

But Gon knew Killua very well and was already waiting for it, being able to hold his kick, quickly lifting Killua and throwing him back against the ground.

Taking advantage of the impact, Gon opened Killua's legs snuggling between them, quickly pinning one with his knee and approaching his body to Killua.

_Why is Killua looking at me like that?_

_Why does he look at me as if Im’ Illumi or Hisoka?_

_Why?_

"Why?" Gon asked in a confused and childish tone that didn’t match his expression or action.

Killua was already in the state of flight or fight and released his hatsu one more time launching Gon towards the bathtub.

Killua didn’t wait a second before taking off at an abnormal speed, running out the door, picking up his sister halfway, entering the bedroom and putting Nen in the door to make sure it was sealed.

Gon in turn also recovered fast but speed was never his forte.

He stalked out of the bathroom and ran in the same direction as Killua.

_Why?_

_Why?_

_What did I do?_

Alluka looked at her naked brother, kneeling on the floor leaning against it. She could feel him sweating cold, his breath erratic.

"Killua? Is everything okay?"

Killua looked at her and forced a smile on his face.

"Yes, it's okay."

He stood up, ignoring the doorknob moving as Gon was trying to open the door.

He was already dressed when Gon started knocking; he lay on his sister’s bed and drew her close to him, hugging her.

"Killua!" Gon knocked on the door.

"Killua! Open the door!" And the door was hit harder and harder.

"Nanika ... put Gon to sleep."

"Yay"

From inside the bedroom it was possible to hear the sound of Gon falling on the floor, Nanika in turn embraced her brother and began to pat his head.

"Killuah! I love you!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I'm bad, I'm horrible... but let's wait and see what happens okay.  
> Just to remind you guys, both Killua and Gon are a little OOC in this fic!


	9. Meeting Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my beautiful people!  
> I need help, if you guys are okay with my english I won't bother with it, but I would like some help! A beta-reader!  
> Thanks for all the likes and comments!

Gon woke up in a comfortable bed.

He was a bit wary of the situation, after all, he had clear memories of what had happened the night before - he put his hands on his face, blaming himself and wondering why he did what he did.

 

_Why?_

 

He remembered Killua fighting him while desperately trying to get away.

 

_What would I have done do if I had stopped him?_

 

He remembered how Killua looked at him, as if he were Illumi, as if he were going to hurt him.

 

_I need to apologize ..._

 

He remembered knocking on the door then hitting on it, trying to open it in any way possible.

 

Gon took a deep breath, preparing to take a sermon and probably a beating.

 

He felt he deserved it.

He felt like a horrible human being.

 

 

\---------------------------------------

 

 Killua woke up in the middle of the night.

 

He was afraid and he didn’t deny that what had happened made him freeze.

Not that he never had faced complicated or life or death situations, but that had been different, had felt different.

 

It was more intimate.

It was Gon.

His dear friend, Gon.

 

Killua approached Gon carefully, took him into his arms and led him into the bedroom, where he laid him down and covered him.

 

He stood there for a moment, just looking.

 

Killua didn’t tell anyone, but he reserved himself for the one who he really loves and when they were younger Killua believed that this someone was Gon, but now he had doubts.

 

Whatever happened in that bathroom didn’t change the fact that Gon had stolen his first kiss, Killua thought that such a moment would be cause for joy, something unforgettable and enthralling.

But all he wanted at the moment was to forget about it.

 

He felt tears fall from his eyes.

 

He clenched his teeth and fists, and as he had done so many times before he swallowed his cries and leave the bedroom.

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

When Gon left the bedroom he was attacked by a smell of coffee with bread.

 

In the corner of the room he saw the suitcases already ready, even his own one.

 

He swallowed hard and with slow steps went to the kitchen where he meets Alluka and Killua.

 

"Aa-aah Good mor-"

 

And in front of him a cup of coffee and a plate with small breads appeared, Killua placed both of them with such force in front of him that he feared that the porcelain would not stand the impact on the table.

 

"Killua, I ... I’m so-"

 

"Eat it, Gon, we're already late."

 

Gon looked at the clock and seeing that Killua was telling the truth and decided to apologize later.

 

"I've already packed our bags, after you eat, make sure to verify if I have not forgotten anything."

 

That was all that Killua said before leaving the kitchen with Alluka.

 

 

\-------------------------------------------------

 

 

The trip was horrible even Alluka knew that, Gon was quiet on one side, Killua was quiet on the other.

 

She was confused and not knowing how to act, she wanted to help them, tell Gon to insist a little more and Killua be a bit more tolerant, but Nanika had told her about what had happened the night before.

 

Killua was crying, crying because of Gon.

 

And Nanika had been very clear that it was not a good type cry, and therefore, despite her wanting to make things better, she didn’t know what to do.

 

\-------------------------------------------------

 

Leorio was somewhat distressed - _Who would Morel call?_

 

And he wasn’t disappointed when he saw Bisket there, small, pink and with the face of who was going to beat the crap of both boys.

 

"I was in my SPA week to keep this beautiful face and you call me because those two kids are getting into trouble again?"

 

Leorio looked at her with a raised eyebrow, _what do you mean trouble? Didn’t Morel tell her the real reason?_

 

"He told me ..." She said as if she had read his mind "... but if I'm sure this is all happening because you decided to go back to the Black Continent. Wasn’t it disaster enough the last time? And who told Gon about it?! "

 

"It was Gin." Morel said entering the hotel hall.

 

Leorio and Bisket couldn’t control their fury at hearing the name of the ex-Zodiac.

 

"That bastard! Why did he tell Gon about it?" Leorio said angry as hell.

 

"Those boys aren’t ready for the Black Continent, they barely survived the war against the ants and both have been for at least two years without really fighting." Bisket complemented.

 

"Well ... that's not the only problem. There will be a new expedition to the Black Continent, one that I as a Zodiac and a friend of one of the involved, I'm totally against it. But this event brought out something that I believe everyone here already saw or knew it could happen." Leorio said in a serious tone that he reserved for rare occasions.

 

"Are you talking about the boys?" Bisket asked.

 

"Bisket you've trained these two on more than one occasion, you must have noticed something wrong in their relationship." Morel asked

 

Bisket was quiet for a moment before speaking.

 

"They are two wonders, rare to find, but the circumstances in which the two were created left them with emotional flaws that fit in a worrisome way. They complement each other in this aspect as much as they do in almost everything about them."

 

"What do you mean by that?"

 

Bisket sat down before answering Morel.

 

"Gon has learned that if you want something you should get even if it’s by using brute force and that to achieve it is his right, he lived believing that life is a game, a challenge left by someone that he had to fulfill or win. And Killua being too emotional for a assassin was suppressed by his family, they made clear to him that he is flawed and in order to be successful, he has to be always controlled, he always followed or obeyed someone. Can you guys see how the two fit together, one takes what he wants for himself, does what he wants because that is the only way to have something and the other needs so much affection and friends that he will do anything, he will bear anything to keep what he has, however small it may be. "

 

Morel was silent, processing what Bisket had said. Leorio agreed with her, after all he saw Killua's family, a bunch of crazy killers, how a boy like him would know what real love is when the people who should teach him it only showed it by hurting him.

 

"Well, we're all agreed with one thing, we need to find a reason to separate them and talk to them separately.”

 

Leorio phone started to ring interrupting them.

 

“WHAT DO YOU WANT?!”

 

"Leorio!"

 

"G-Gon?!"

 

"Yes ... hehe ... we're almost here. We will be waiting for you guys!"

 

Leorio turned to the others, warning them

 

" They're coming! "

 

\----------------------------------- -----------

 

Yorkshin is a wonderful city.

 

There he had the opportunity to infiltrate Genei Ryudan, there he fought Chrollo, died and rose again, there he started his mission to kill the spiders to the point there were only 4 left.

 

There he saw those two tasty fruits learn Nen.

 

 _Aaaaaaaahhhhnnnnn ...._ _♥_

 _How was Gon?_ _♥_

 _And Killua?_ _♥_

 _Huuuuummm ..._   _♥_

 

Killua might not be ripe in terms of combat, but he was already pretty appetizing for other activities.

 

Hisoka was already excited just thinking.

 

Killua writhing in fury, pain and pleasure.

 

He was sure the boy would fight against him, he was eager to see that clever mind working, seeking a way out.

 

 _And when Gon knew ..._ _♥_

 _Aaaaaaah ..._ _♥_

 

He felt he would explode right there without even touching himself.

 

Gon furious, fighting for revenge, with all his strength, all his anger.

 

 _Primorous._ _♥_

 

And there's Illumi too.

Always so serious, always so tedious, unshakable and unaffordable.

 

When think about having a fight as good as that against Chrollo.

 

 _It was exciting!_ _♥_

 

But he wasn’t naive, he had to choose the battle location if he wanted to win.

And Yorkshin was perfect for that, the lights, the sirens, the people involved.

_Why not?_ _♠_

 _He had nothing to do at the moment._ _♠_

 

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

After a flight that seemed to last longer than usual, Killua couldn’t wait to go to the hotel and sleep until the next day.

 

He was so focused on going to the hotel that he didn’t even notice Gon approaching.

 

"Killua ..."

 

And Killua had no chance to respond or even grimace, because a punch drove Gon away from him, seeding him flying through the Lobby and crashing into the first wall his body found.

 

Killua looked startled, recognizing who had punched Gon.

 

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, OLD HAG ?!"

 

"I AM NOT OLD!"

 

And Killua was also sending flying through the Lobby hitting Gon who was standing up.

 

Alluka looked surprised and excited at the scene that unfold, Bisket then, looking like another person turned around and smiling presented herself.

 

"Hello, my name is Bisket, I am the teacher of these two brats."


	10. Meeting Part 2

"Ouch ... Killua did she beat you too?" Gon asked

"Yes, that old woman beat me up just because I said the true, such old hmmmbbmbmmbmm..."

Gon quickly covered Killua's mouth as he noticed Bisket approaching with a menacing aura.

Killua glared at Gon, but soon realizing that Bisket was there, he sweated coldly and calmly removed Gon's hand from his face.

"How are you brats?"

"We’re fine!" Gon said excitedly.

"Good ..." Bisket said before raising a finger in the air.

They both stared at her as if she was crazy when they remembered her training and quickly responded.

"2!"

It was already too late.

"Too slow!"

"But I answered faster than Gon!"

"Does not matter! With the experience of both have that response had to be immediate! Now on the floor paying 1000"

They both complied immediately, as Morel, Leorio, and Alluka approached quietly.

A common scene for people like them, but a show apart for everyone at the airport that filmed the unusual event.

 

\----------------------------------------------

If they asked Killua how it all started he couldn’t for the life of him exlplain, in one minute he was doing push-ups, one the other he was in the room with Bisket having another conversation with her.

How he ended up in that conversation he also didn’t know.

"Don’t tell me you want to go to the Dark Continent? Killua, do you have any idea what's in there? You're not ready!"

"I know..."

"Then why are you here, why are you embarking on this?"

Killua looked down, staring at his hands for a while before looking back at Bisket.

"I was missing you guys, I wanted to know how you are and Alluka wanted a vacation she liked this town too, so I thought why not?"

Bisket put her hands on her waist and stood looking seriously at Killua, her tone leaving no room for argument.

"Killua, I've been lying for 50 years, and I know very well when someone is lying. Tell me the truth, what's happening?"

Killua was silent, which would normally make Bisket show his true form and give him a homeric beating, but she knew the boy, she herself had said that he should leave Gon behind in the past - even if it was for totally different reasons.

"I did what you said.I left Gon behind back then, not because I was going to run away in face of danger, but because I knew that if I had to choose between him and Alluka I would choose her. Gon would be counting on me, but he would not be my biggest priority ... but ...”

Bisket stopped to listen carefully to what Killua had to say.

"... but you didn’t tell me it was going to hurt so much."

Bisket's eyes softened when she heard Killua, she knew that boy loved Gon there was no doubt about that.

And by loving him he was constantly hurting himself never thinking his sacrifices were enough.

"Separating you two might have been the best for the two of you at that time, don’t you agreed with me, Killua?"

"Maybe, I would say yes, but that's not what I see, I don’t recognize him sometimes ..."

"Maybe you should step away again, give him time to think."

"No, I can’t. He's like this because I've walked away, what can happen if I disappear again."

"But Killua, are you happy like this?"

"It doesn’t matter! I'll be happy when Gon and Alluka are happy!"

Killua said getting up and leaving the hotel room, giving no further explanation to Bisket.

 

\-------------------------------

Gon was irritated.

He was shaking, his feet nervously tapping the ground while Morel was talking nonsense.

"Gon you have no condition to go to the Dark Continent!"

"And you have?" Gon snapped.

"No, and that's why I'm here to convince these freaks that it's crazy to go back there!"

"I don’t care, I will go with or without you! There I will find what I need."

Morel rubbed his face and continued to argue, even if it was as efficient as talking to a wall.

"Ok ... okay ... you want to kill yourself so go and kill yourself! But leave Killua out of it!"

"Killua is going with me!" Gon answered angrily at Morel.

"You can’t decide for him!" Morel argued back

"I didn’t force him to go with me; he came here because he wanted to!"

"This is a lie and you know it Gon! You used Nanika to make Killua come here with you!"

Gon got up and looked suspiciously at Morel.

"How do you know that?"

Morel felt, for the first time, that sense of oppression that made his breathing difficult - just as Killua described.

_What is this, Gon?_

_What is going on?_

\---------------------------------

Leorio didn’t understand why he stayed with Alluka, he knew Gon and Killua better, it would make much more sense for him to stay with one of the two boys.

He, however, was defeated, Bisket and Morel were very incisive in saying that he would stay with Alluka.

And there he was, after he thought they were all going to die.

He never saw Gon like that.

They didn’t say much.

They didn’t do anything suspicious.

Morel said he wanted to talk to Gon about the Dark Continent, details of the mission, things like that, and Gon at first seemed excited.

He stood up quickly, stopping and looking at Killua.

Then it began to turn really bizarre.

 Killua was hesitant, and Gon apparently didn’t want to be waiting too long and in a rather rude way he called the albino.

"Come on, Killua."

To his surprise, Killua stood up and obeyed.

There was no attempt at persuasion, no lie, nothing.

"I want to talk to you Gon, only you."

Morel tried to intervene.

"Whatever you have to tell me, you can tell Killua too, we don’t hide anything from each other. I’m right don’t I, Killua?"

There was a tone of irony and defiance there.

He would not think it strange if it was Killua talking like that, but that was Gon.

Bisket entered the conversation quickly.

"Killua will soon meet with you Gon. I have to talk to him and Alluka."

"About what?"

"Nen."

"Because?"

"So that Alluka can defend herself and Killua can accompany her and you without further concern."

Bisket was good, very good, she lied with enviable naturalness.

"Is this true Killua?"

But Gon didn’t seem to have bought it.

Everyone looked anxiously at Killua, everything depended on him.

"It is, Gon."

Gon then suddenly changed.

He smiled, gave a childish laugh, scratched his head and apologized, soon follwoning Morel.

"My God what was that?" Leorio wondered.

"Alluka, don’t you want to go buy ice cream with Leorio?" Bisket asked the girl.

"Yes!"

Leorio was taken aback.

“What?! Who said I'm going to take brat to have ice cream !?"

Alluka looked at him and tearfull eyes.

"You're evil!"

"I'm not!"

"Killua I don’t want to go with him! Let's both go and have ice cream!"

Killua looked at Alluka and smiled serenely.

"I can’t, I need to talk to the old hag ..." And Bisket slapped Killua's head "... why don’t you go and bring me something?"

"A surprise!?"

"A surprise."

And that's how he ended there, having ice cream.

But there must be something else he could do.

 

"Hey ... aaaah ... Alluka?"

"Yay!"

"Is everything okay with Killua?"

"Um ... I don’t know ... I think so, but Nanika thinks not."

"Meaning?"

"He wants us happy, he wants Gon happy, but he forgets to be happy, really happy you know?"

Leorio nod in agreement.

"I'm going to learn Nen and I'm going to leave Killua, so he'll be able to do what he wants, to be really happy, happy with Gon."

"Wh-what?"

"You don’t know? Killua wants to stay with Gon forever, but Nanika thinks it's bad, she thinks Killua feeds on Gon's happiness and Gon abuses it."

"Maybe she's right."

"But I think Killua can fix Gon, just like he fixed us!"

Leorio stopped walking and stood there a little confused.

"So there is something to fix? Do you know how?"

"Of course there is, Gon talked to me, he feels alone even in the company of others, he feels left behind, he feels he will be forgotten and abandoned by everyone if he gets weak and lose his powers, so he wants answers, wants power and wants to show Killua all this, he wants to show that he is stronger and Killua can heal this, he can fill that void with love ... "

Leorio was astonished, _how much does that girl know?_

"... that is Killua's greatest power and his greatest weakness. He loves too much." 

\--------------------------------

Hisoka was strolling down the street, having nothing better to do, when he caught a glimpse of white hair.

He would probably ignore but that hair color is not something normal to see, _so why not take a peek?_ ♦

He sneaked up to see the familiar albino come out of a store with a bag full of chocorobos.

There was no question that it is Killua.

And _he is delicious._ _♥_

Physically he remembered Illumi, a delicacy that hid a brutal force, thin hands and elegant fingers capable of ripping enemies apart.

But unlike Illumi's elegant face, Killua had a more angelic and feline face, an exotic mix.

Hisoka licked his lips in anxiety.

He could accompany him till to the right moment and attack him, but that would not be so fun, deciding to make things more interesting he picked up his cell phone and called one of his acquaintances.

"Hello ... Illumiiii. Longing for me? ♦"

Hisoka smiled at the cold, robotic response before answering in a singing tone.

"You won’t believe who I found walking around YorkShin."

The conversation was brief, and while pretending disinterest, Hisoka knew Illumi would soon appear in the city.

 _So predictable ..._ _♥_

But then something unpredictable happened.

Out of nowhere he felt sharp nails around his neck, and a cold yet sweet voice stirred him.

"What do you want here, Hisoka?"

_Uuuuuuaaaaaaah Killuaaaaa ...._ _♥_

_Aaaaaaaaaaaah I can’t help myself!_ _♥_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter  
> Killua vs Hisoka


	11. Don't turn on the TV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me more time than I wanted but I found myself very busy this week.  
> Anyway despite all the trouble the chapter is finally posted!
> 
> My special thanks to Natta0202, who help me with this chapter!
> 
> Hope you guys like this chapter as well and I will try to be more fast with my update!

Killua felt like he was with vantage when he noted Hisoka’s hand moving toward his arm.  
  
Killua was quick and recoiled, keeping Bunge Gum from sticking onto him and at the same time leaving a cut in Hisoka’s neck.  
  
The blow was not fatal and against an opponent like Hisoka it was an unforgivable mistake.  
  
Hisoka smiled and stuck the skin around his neck with Bunge gum.  
  
"Killua ... Killu ... Kill ... I wasn’t even going to fight you at the moment, but you know, but now that you've appeared and so excitedly invited me to fight you, how could I deny myself such a pleasure?"  
  
Killua didn’t respond, remaining stoic while trying to think of options for different attacks along with possible escape routes.  
  
Hisoka noticed this and made his move, trying to corner the young man in the alley.  
  
Killua deflected the attacks in order to bring the fight to the streets where there would be several people for him to use as camouflage and attack.  
  
He succeeded in this, more or less, when Hisoka instead of being surprised, had a smile that seemed to go from ear to ear.  
  
“What a foolish little boy you are.”  
  
Having said this, Hisoka used Bunge Gum to bunch a few innocent civilians together and hurl them towards Killua.  
  
Killua, having not thought of this outcome, cursed himself, believing it was something that he should have known. After all, people had been used in Hisoka’s fight against Chrollo, where the magician had done the same thing. Killua had forgotten about it and brought Hisoka to a place full of people, giving him more opportunities of attack and defense.  
  
But he didn’t change his strategy, using the convoluted streets to quick kick Hisoka in the face, but ended up kicking a man who had nothing to do with the situation instead.  
  
Killua fell and rolled away, briefly looking at the man’s body – his kick having been aimed at Hisoka, had so much nen and brute force that it was a fatal hit to the poor man.  
  
Years as a killer made Killua able to separate himself emotionally from his victims, but years of being with Gon on their adventures had not made the fact that he killed someone innocent easier to accept.  
  
But those brief seconds when he looked at the man's body were more than enough for Hisoka to attack him. A well constituted punch flung him towards another sidewalk and through a shop window.  
  
Killua was half dizzy. The glass had cut him and he took out some of the bigger shards as fast as he could before Hisoka stepped into the store.  
  
Already standing, Killua began to use his Hatsuto Hisoka’s pleasure”.  
  
Killua’s Hatsu gave him a huge advantage in terms of speed and reflexes, putting him above practically everyone he knew when he was using it.  
  
There was just one problem, the tiredness, even after a few years of training Killua still couldn’t wear his Hatsu all the time, but he was confident it would not be necessary.  
  
Hisoka was amazed, he didn’t expect such an evolution in Killua, perhaps the boy was also mature in other ways as well.  
  
 ** _Perfect ... aaaaaahhh ... Killuaaaah ... ♥_**  
  
Hisoka however couldn’t even see Killua moving, he only felt electricity flow through his body, his muscles contracting, temporary pain and paralysis causing some worry as well as excitement.  
  
He couldn’t react, Killua didn’t even seem to be moving from his spot, even though Hisoka’s body told him otherwise, the boy was so fast that it was as if the albino never stirred.  
  
 ** _Magnificent ... Beautiful ... ♥_**  
  
In a matter of seconds his smile changed and his eyes gleamed like a hunter's when he finds his perfect prey.  
  


Killua approached, hitting Hisoka. But as he tried to get back to where he had been he was pulled back taking a swipe from Hisoka right across his face, followed by several in his abdomen.

  
He was caught off guard, he hadn’t believed it was possible for Hisoka to be as quick as he was, or at the leastquick enough to use Bunge Gum.  
In shock and with the world still spinning, Killua saw Bunge Gum enveloping Hisoka completely and wondered when it happened.

  
**_Will using my speed be my biggest mistake?_ **

  
One more kick in his abdomen and Killua knew he couldn’t let this continue, he had to do something, That's when he thought of the obvious. If Hisoka wanted to keep him trapped so be it, and it was a very good opportunity for him to end this fight.

  
Without mercy, Killua released his electricity that ran through Bunge Gum to reach Hisoka, who was quick to release Killua and move towards him.  
After a scraping punch Killua retreated to the sidewalk where people ran back and forth shouting.

  
From inside the shop a counter was thrown, Killua deviated from the object and its impact. Hisoka ran towards him and grabbed three more civilians while Killua increased his Hatsu.

  
Killua didn’t want to kill anyone but he couldn’t worry about it right now, and putting as much of the electricity as he could get with his Nen he ran in to encounter Hisoka.

  
He had no clear strategy, Killua simply aimed to fry Hisoka. After all, no matter how strong someone was, electricity was deadly to all beings. Some just needed more electric discharge than others.

  
Hisoka pitched two people against him, the two of them died instantly at the smallest touch of his skin,  but he continued, his target was so close after all.

  
It all went very fast, Killua approached and touched Hisoka, but Hisoka knew how well electricity worked and was ready for it from the beginning. The pain was something Hisoka expected, all he had to do was knock Killua away as fast as he touched him, and so he did.

  
Killua was thrown back with a kick, not realizing Hisoka’s Bunge Gum had been attached to him.

  
Killua sat coughing blood from the blow that had been abnormally strong, and as he focused his Nen on his arms to support his own Hatsu he ended up weakening his abdomen.

  
Hisoka on the other hand was in pain, he could smell burned flesh which meant that Killua had touched him enough time to burn something, fortunately nothing vital.

  
He was happy that this had been such a good day, and being as excited as he was, Hisoka decided to make a bet - he would stand still and his fate would be decided by Killua.

 

**_Do not disappoint me boy! ♠_ **

  
Seeing Hisoka on the ground Killua came across two possibilities, run away or take advantage of the situation now that Hisoka was on the ground and finish the job.  
Killua stood up and vomited some blood, and became surprised when he saw it. He didn’t think he had taken so much damage.

  
**_I must go there and kill him, it will be one less problem for me to worry about._ **

  
**_But what if that's what he wants?_**  
 ** _What if it's a trap?_**  
 ** _Maybe it's the best to just run away ..._**  
  
 ** _But when will another chance like this appear?_**  
  
 **If the enemy is stronger than you, flee.**  
  
That was how he was trained, but this was his past and his enemy who lay on the ground practically defeated.  
  
 ** _Or wasn’t he?_**  
  
Hisoka was a manipulative snake, he could be there just waiting for a slip-up on his part.

He hesitated a little, felt his breath get caught in his throat, a small part of him cursing himself for cowering under Hisoka’s aura, but took a few shaky steps backwards, that aura was just like Illumi, just like Gon.  
  
 ** _Gon!_**  
  
Killua looked around and saw people all around them with their cell phones pointed at them recording everything!  
  
Killua wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. If Gon saw any of this he would probably come, Gon would be furious, he would lose control and everything Killua could think of when he remembered Gon uncontrolled was what happened in the fight against Pitou.  
  
Fearing not only for himself, but more for Gon, Killua activated Godspeed.  
  
Hisoka smiled

_**Aaaaah, what speed! Ooooh, I can’t wait for when he can’t hold on anymore! The rebound will surely be amazing to see, just like an elastic band breaking after too much strain !♥** _

  
  
\-------------------------  
  
   
  
The destruction caused by Killua’s electricity caused a blackout all over the region soon attracted the attention of the police and the TV.  
  
Gon was furious with Morel, how did he know what had happened?  
  
"Did Killua tell you anything?"  
  
"We just talked about everyday things, he didn’t tell me anything other than the fact that you came to visit them."  
  
"LIE!"  
  
As he heard Gon raise his voice, Morel stood up, using his size to better impose his respect upon the boy  
  
"It's not a lie, and you should stop behaving like a child Gon. You want to know how I know what you did? I know because you're behaving this way, using Alluka to get something is an irresponsible, spoiled, selfish, dangerous and above all childish attitude!"  
  
The two of them stared at each other when they spotted from the hotel window what appeared to be a blackout in a building not to far away.  
  
Morel's phone rang seconds later.  
  
"What?!"  
  
Gon looked at Morel curiously and a little more calmly this time.  
  
"Gon, turn on the TV."  
  
That was his biggest mistake yet.

  
  
\------------------------  
  
   
  
Leorio was quietly choosing a topping for his ice cream when he noticed the television.  
  
There were people running, apparently three dead and several wounded. The police surrounded the place, holding back the approach of the curious bystanders.  
  
The reporter was nervous.  
  
"Reports say that two men are fighting, one of them was recognized as Hisoka, a floor master at Heaven's Arena and the other still has no identification. Witnesses say it is an albino boy who can use electricity ..."  
  
Leorio dropped the ice cream. He ignored the owner of the ice cream parlor and Alluka's curious gaze and picked up his cell phone.  
  
"Answer ... answer ... answer ..."  
  
"Morel ..."  
  
"MOREL TURN ON THE TV RIGHT NOW, YOU NEED TO SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING!"  
  
In the background he heard Morel say "Gon ..."  
  
In a panic Leorio shouted frantically, "FOR GOD'S SAKE DO NOT LET GON SEE THE TV!"  
  
But it was too late.


	12. Dark Continent

Killua was running away, he knew he had to get away from there, away from Hisoka. The magician is a monster in terms of combat and there were already a lot of people involved - he didn’t want to fight like that, he didn’t want to harm anymore innocent bystanders.

The second problem is Gon, in that crowd he knew they were filming and he could only think about what would happen if Gon the broadcasts  -   _what would happen to those people, what would happen to him, if Gon went on a rampage?_

_I have to get out of here._

_I have to get away._

_I have to find Gon and control the situation before it all goes out of control._

But suddenly he felt something pulling him back, the strength from it actually slowing him down. He fought against the unknown force when he suddenly remembered to use Gyo and noticed it was Hisoka's Bunge Gum.

At that moment Killua felt the desperation of the situation. It was a struggle of strength. If he keeps fighting, Hisoka could simply let go and he would be catapulted, and if he stopped fighting he would be pulled back with the force of their combined strengths.

It was bad no matter how he looked at it.

But it was this moment of contemplation that proved to be fatal, as he unconsciously lessened his struggling and was pulled all the way back with an elastic force that shocked him, colliding against the ground with an immense impact.

He felt the ground crack around him, he felt the air completely leave his lungs, he saw the dark blue sky and the night lights and he heard Hisoka laughing.

 

**~~~~ MOREL & GON ~~~~**

Morel knew in that moment the mistake he had made.

Gon seemed to have entered a parallel world, trapped in his own in his own little bubble. His eyes lost their sparkle and a strange aura could be felt.

He yelled at Leorio on the phone.

"Bring Alluka!" And he hung up before he even heard Leorio's answer.

Gon was already leaving the room with a frightening tranquility. The boy didn’t seem to be angry or sad or anything and his aura made it seem like time had stopped around him. Morel knew this wasn’t real, time was moving like normal, fluid, but the fact that the young man possessed such an aura was enough for him to keep his distance.

Morel was a strategist, and it was with the patience and coolness of a strategist that he followed Gon at a safe distance. He knew that a grosser action could be considered as an attempt to stop him and Gon would react to it with violence.

He picked up his cellphone and contacted Bisket.

"Yes, I know," she said breathlessly. "I'm going where they are."

"Gon's walking towards them too, you know that?”

"I don’t know, Killua’s Hatsu has damaged all the electronics around here and probably fried everything close to them."

Morel was relieved and worried. Relieved as it meant that just like them, Gon had no idea of what was happening in the fight, and worried for the very same reason.

"Bisket, Leorio is the one closest to them, I asked him to take Alluka there."

"WHAT?! Are you crazy?! Hisoka is there as well! "Bisket said.

"I'm not, I’m asking him to bring Alluka not because of Hisoka but for Gon. The way things are we might not be able to stop him without hurting him and Alluka is the best option if it comes to that.”

"Okay, I get your point. I'm moving ahead, someone has to hold Hisoka down. "

"Understood, I'm going to try and delay Gon."

That said, Morel filled the place with smoke and prepared for the worst.

 

**~~~~ HISOKA & KILLUA ~~~~**

_Amazing! Divine!_ _♥_

Hisoka was sure that if the young man was really fighting seriously and not so overly concerned about other things he would have killed him or almost killed him by now.

 _So much potential!_ _♥_

He stood up calmly, knowing that Killua was trapped by his Bunge Gum as well as bruised by the impact.

Hisoka walked to Killua and stood beside him with a serene and even charming smile, his hand on his waist, his hip hanging to one side in a somewhat feminine pose.

"Killu ~ ♥ ~ ... How do you feel?"

Killua heard the sound of Hisoka's high heels, he tried to get up but it seemed that the more he moved, the more he stuck to the ground.

He looked up and saw Hisoka smiling.

"You know, I'm in quite the predicament. You have so much power, if I let you go I know I'm going to have a lot of fun, but I can also kill you and wait for Gon and Illumi ... Aaaah, what a difficult decision!"

"Get me out of here and I promise, I will kill you!"

"Ooooooh that look! ♥ This murderous intent! Killua you're irresistible like this! ♥ "

Killua made his fingernails grow, preparing to fly at Hisoka's neck as Hisoka prepared to release Killua, when he felt a huge Nen coming towards him. If wasn’t for his experience he would have been hit by Bisket.

She was in her true form; she knew she could not joke around with someone like Hisoka. From what she could see he was hurt, but from what she knew of him, it only meant that he was even more than dangerous.

Struggle, pain and adrenaline always moved Hisoka to unimaginable limits, this was known to many who knew him or who saw him fight.

As Bisket dragged Hisoka away with the silent promise of an impressive fight, Killua struggled to break loose and in the distance he heard Leorio and Alluka.

_What is she doing here?!_

“Killua!” Leorio screamed weaving his arms.

They approached the albino.

"Are you okay?" Leorio asked.

"I'm stuck."

"Shit … Bunge Gum... only Hisoka can let you go, right?"

"Yes."

"Damn it."

"I should be the one saying ‘Damn it’! What are you doing here? And why did you bring Alluka?! "

“Well, that’s..."

"She can get hurt! She is in danger here! Go away, get her away from here! "

"No! I'm not going without Killua! "

Killua’s eyes widened when he heard his name and not ‘brother’. He had forgotten but now he remembered he had asked Nanika to put Gon to sleep one day before they went to travel, that means he still had two more requests.

 

The sound of cars being destroyed and people screaming suddenly didn’t matter anymore. They felt as if time had stopped, smoke was beginning to cover everything, which meant that Morel was around, but the smoke itself was not the problem, what made the cold sweat run down their backs was the scary and heavy Nen approaching them.

 

Killua felt the hairs on his body stand up, he had felt it before, and he knew Gon was coming.

Not far from him, Bisket felt for the first time Gon’s new Nen.

 

Horrified she thought, _was Killua trapped in his own house with this? Gon has to be stopped! He cannot stay with Killua and Alluka, that way the damage on them could be devastating._

At the same time, she remembered the Dark Continent.

There was something wrong and incomprehensible on that continent, Nanika reminded her of that place, and now Gon reminded her of it as well.

 

_Gin, what did you do?_

Hisoka paused at the same time as Bisket, but unlike her, he smiled, he smiled as never before, his huge smile spreading from ear to ear. He knew he had no chance against it, but the mere fact of seeing it, of fighting against it was already worth it.

 

 _Gon! Gooooon!_ _♥_

 

Elsewhere in the city Kurupika heard the information from inside a taxi. He had wanted to return to the Dark Continent, preferably without involving his friends, he even got in touch with Pariston, that despicable man, but he never imagined that the Dark Continent would come to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hope you guys have enjoyed this chapter, in the next there will be more details of Bisket vs Hisoka and Morel trying to delay Gon's arrival, and of course ... Gon!

**Author's Note:**

> People...  
> First, I do not think Gon is a monster, he is a boy full of love, but I'm using the Chimera Ant Arc, and if that Gon we saw was not actually gone, if he is destined to be that same Gon.  
> The impact this would have on someone like Killua.  
> These are my ideas, it is not a pretty story, but lets see what happens ...


End file.
